


in loneliness my only friend

by raritysdiamonds



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Buttercups AU, F/M, Fantasizing, Masturbation, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 15:57:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12135933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raritysdiamonds/pseuds/raritysdiamonds
Summary: She knew it was dangerous to be thinking of her Royal Scientist like this, and yet all the logic and reason in the world could not seem to stop her imagining – just for a moment – how things might be if he was here with her.





	in loneliness my only friend

**Author's Note:**

> takes place in the Buttercups AU we created(?) on the Soriel Discord server, where Asgore died after eating the buttercup pie, Toriel is queen and Sans is Royal Scientist. That's pretty much all the context you need for this...particular piece, lol, but if you're interested I recommend checking out [this post](https://onlycath.tumblr.com/post/163794298434/last-entry-for-soriel-week-au-day) for more info!! (I plan to write more in this AU someday, maybe even with actual plot! In the meantime, hopefully enjoy...uh, this. ;x )

Toriel knew it was dangerous to be thinking like this.

During the daytime, amid all the hustle and bustle of attending to her subjects, she could almost convince herself she had no such unprofessional designs on her Royal Scientist. Of course her affection for him could not be anything more than friendship, even if she sometimes found herself stealing sidelong glances when Sans was showing her his findings, charmed by the way his eye lights glowed in concentration and fascination, utterly absorbed in explaining his latest theory; or if her soul fluttered a little when he laughed at the ‘ion’ joke she had stored away in her diary for the perfect moment; or even if her regular visits to the lab – always knocking on the door and eagerly awaiting his response, even though the recognition system would have allowed her to simply walk in – were easily the highlight of her day.

It was so much easier to distract herself while surrounded by people – but come nightfall everyone would leave, going home to their families, and Toriel would remain here, alone in the vast, empty halls of the castle. Once again, she would remove her crown and set it carefully down on her dresser before slipping out of her royal robes and into the bed that had been lovingly crafted for two monsters. Some nights, admittedly, she imagined the company of just about _anyone_ would have brought her some comfort – but, somehow, her thoughts would always return to Sans.

It went without saying that nothing could ever happen between them, of course. He was her Royal Scientist – it would be improper, immoral even, to compromise their professional relationship in such a way. And that was to say nothing of the likelihood that Sans could actually feel the same about  _ her _ ; truly, he deserved better than Toriel, than to be weighed down with her centuries of baggage and responsibility. She had lost enough in her years to know how important it was to hold onto the things that mattered, the people who brought her joy, laughter and companionship even when she feared she may never feel anything again. The truth was, Sans mattered far too much to risk losing over some fleeting, foolish fancy – both as her Royal Scientist, the one she trusted more than any other to find a solution to the plight that had plagued monsterkind for centuries, and as her dearest friend. She could not, did not want to imagine her life without him, and that was precisely why he could never find out.

All this she knew well, and yet all the logic and reason in the world could not seem to stop her, in the privacy of her bedroom away from prying eyes, imagining – just for a moment – how things might be if he was here with her. How she would slowly remove his lab coat to feel the firm, smooth outline of his bones pressing against her body, his fingers running through her fur...Toriel closed her eyes, sinking back into the plush pillows as she absent–mindedly trailed her own hand from her neck to her chest, stroking over the curve of her breast. She was unsure how, or if skeletons could kiss, but she was certain Sans was inventive enough to think of  _ something  _ to do with his mouth, and the thought sent a tingle of excitement through her as she slid her other hand down her stomach, her soul twitching in anticipation as she played with the lacy hem of her underwear before slipping her fingers inside.

She shivered a little at the first touch as she traced around her outer lips, light and teasing; she wanted to draw this out, to make it last, and after all, Sans was never one to rush anything. She bit down on her lip as her thumb brushed over her sensitive mound; goodness, it was almost embarrassing how wet she was already, just from the thought of him kneeling between her legs. A breathy moan escaped as she pushed a finger into her slick heat, imagining how he would grin up at her, the familiar teasing twinkle in his sockets bright with lust and desire, just before he’d push her legs apart and…

Toriel did not know why she felt the need to quiet herself, instinctively biting back a low, needy whine as she slipped in another finger and began to thrust in and out into a steady rhythm – there was certainly no one around to hear her, her castle as solitary as it had been for decades. Decades since anyone had touched her like this, the heat of her magic building and prickling under her skin, intensifying every sensation as her other hand grasped her breast, rubbing over her nipple. Decades since she had anyone to hold her, ever since Asgore –

_No_ – Toriel pinched herself as if in reprimand for the thought, letting out a sharper gasp as her claws dug into tender flesh and pleasure collided with pain, an all-too-familiar sensation of guilt swelling in her soul. Asgore, whom she had promised to love forever. For most of those decades, she never dreamed that she would so much as _look_ at another monster, let alone…

If she were only a better person, she never would have been thinking this way – about Sans, about  _ anyone.  _ But now she had gotten herself in this state, worked up and wanting and desperate just to feel – just to feel  _ something _ , even if her own touch was just a pale imitation of something she could never have.

Toriel huffed a frustrated sigh, in a vain effort to expel the familiar dull ache of sorrow and guilt as she resumed her rhythm – she did not want to think any more, needed to lose herself in sensation as she thrusted into her own hand, rubbing more urgently at her clit. She could feel herself drawing closer to release, and her hips jerked involuntarily as her fingers sought out an exquisitely sensitive spot, pleasure pounding through her soul and body with her fast, rough strokes. She heard herself moan, louder than she intended, but far past caring at this point as she imagined smaller, bonier, more talented hands than her own, opening her up and spreading her apart to play with as they pleased; a teasing but gentle scrape of teeth, a slick tongue sliding into her, exploring her, tasting her…

“S-Sans…” The name tumbled from her lips without permission in a rough, breathless gasp and for a few brilliant, blissful seconds, Toriel’s mind went completely blank: there was no thought, only the sweetest, strongest sensation overflowing from her soul through every inch of her being, her toes curling and inner walls convulsing until she had no more left to give and collapsed back against the pillows with a final, exhausted sigh.

It was not until a few moments later, as she lay there tingling all over and her breathing gradually returned to normal, that the fog lifted from her mind long enough to remember that Sans, being a skeleton, most likely did not even _have_ a tongue. Or if he did, Toriel had never seen it; now she thought of it, he never did seem to move his mouth much when he talked.

But she could no longer wonder about such things, now her desire had been temporarily sated. Before long it would be morning, and Toriel would once again focus all of her energy on her subjects, on all the people who looked to her to give them hope for a brighter future. For their sake, it was time to leave her foolish fantasies behind, locked away in the privacy of her chambers where, she hoped, she could prevent them from tainting that which she treasured most. Even if she knew deep down, as she rolled over what still seemed like a vast expanse of empty sheets to turn off the light, that longing and loneliness would creep back, like an uninvited yet inevitable guest, to greet her the next night, and the one after that.

Nevertheless, Toriel had shouldered the burden of her most inconvenient emotions for centuries – and if that required her to take matters into her own hands, so be it.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading and feedback is always appreciated! <3


End file.
